Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

Last night was so much fun. We should really do that again.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Cleaners

Dear Cleaners,

What. The. Hell?!?! You never clean properly. You never throw away my cups. You never do anything you are supposed to. So...last night, I left my new big giant water cup on my desk...come back this morning...and it's GONE!

What the hell?!

Consistency. Please!

[No]Looove,
[Cupless]Kimmie.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I haven't seen you since your brother's funeral. I haven't talked to you in months. Yet, somehow, I managed to have quite the interesting dream about you last night. I've never had those thought about you...that I can remember... Unconcious fantasies of a subconcious desire? Who knows.

Now, I'm thinking of you (though, admittedly, not like that)... I do hope you are well.

[Me]Looove[you long time],
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I make those comments just because I know they will make your mind wander too. Heh.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Let's hang out. You know...just as friends...or whatever.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Nosey

Dear Nosey-Ass-Fuck,

Mind  your own damned business. If I need your assistance, I will ask you. If I have something that needs your attention, I will tell you. Otherwise...stay in your office. Talk on your phone. Terrorize your customers.

Leave me the fuck alone.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Yours is not the only one she's seen. Sahrry!

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Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

Don't get testy because you want me. Haha! Winky face.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Man

Dear Man,

What I want to do is invite you over...not for intercourse...just to snuggle.

...and maybe intercourse...

...but it's not my house, and I haven't a bed...

Sigh.

Looove[anyway],
Kimmie.

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Dear Bartender

Dear Bartender,

Those drinks were delish! You know how much I love tequila, and that is why you're my favorite bartender.

Well...that....and because you're cute. ;)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I rather enjoy listening to you talk...even if you do seem to tell the same stories over and over... Your wife, however, was quite fucked up last night... she should not have been driving...

I'm just sayin'...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Sometimes, I wish I could unsay some of the things I've told you.

Or...I wish you could just forget them...

Dammit.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

What purpose does your presence even serve? Why can't you just stay your loud, obnoxious ass in the truck while your mom takes care of her business.

You're fucking annoying.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Buying drinks for females does not give you permission to act like that... We didn't ask for them.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

:)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Ladies

Dear Ladies,

Last night was so much fun! It was so nice to get away and hang out with people I don't always get to.

...even if there were shitty drinks, and douchebags.

Let's do it again, sometime!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Guy

Dear Guy,

You really are a dreadful bartender...but at least you're cute?

More tequila. Less mix.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Douche

Dear Douche,

You were not funny. She was drunk.

And you were rude.

Pull your head out of your ass before you come to the bar, next time...Just a word of advice.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You need to just chill with me and stop running so much. You're going run yourself into the ground...and then what? Then...you'll be in the ground. That's what!

And I'll be sad...and I'll really miss your face, then. :(

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Kimmie

Dear Kimmie,

Stop over-analyzing everything. "What will be will be."

Looove,
Kimmie.