Dear Guys

Dear Guys,

I get so tired of hearing you complain about there are no decent women out there....or that they are all attracted to the immature douchebags.  Ever stop to think that you are looking in the wrong places, or for the wrong women?

Let me take a moment to introduce myself...

Hi. I'm Kimmie. I'm most comfortable in my jeans, tshirt, and worn out Chuck Taylors. I'm a huge flirt, but it comes naturally...most of the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it, unless someone points it out to me. I like to go out every now and then, but I'd take a night in, cuddled up on the couch, watching movies, over going out, always. I'm socially awkward. I laugh too loud. My hair is a mess. I rarely wear makeup. I care too much. I love fully. I may not fit your idea of pretty, but I'm beautiful.

If you are the kind of guy that judges a girl from the outside, you know what? You'll keep finding the wrong ones...

Just sayin'.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

The more I think about it, the more I realize that either you are a douche or you are just as much a dumbass as your friend, there...

Whatever...I don't have time for you.

I said, "G'day!"

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I would settle for your regret and jealousy...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Dumbass

Dear Dumbass,

Go ahead and laugh... You. Have. No. Idea.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear You

Dear You,

I hope things are okay.

I hope we aren't just going to drift apart like every time before.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

After some reflection, this morning, it's clear that you were as much of a "love-sick dork" as I was...

It wasn't all my fault... You need to use another excuse for your cowardess.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Lady

Dear Lady,

Wearing boots with your capris does not make them winter appropriate...

You're doing it wrong.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

You are incredibly naughty...and last night was terribly..."entertaining"... I can't wait for more. ;)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Waitress

Dear Waitress,

You should really learn not to make inappropriate and rude remarks to customers when you work for tips.

Bitch.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Naughty naughty... *giggle*

..but it's okay...because I've had a secret crush on you for a while. ;)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

You are not "defying" us...you are costing yourself some really good friendships...over some bullshit.

Tsk tsk tsk...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

I'll make a trade with you. *wink wink*

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman with the Scary Eyebriars,

There is no reason for you to be so rough on my little toes! You made the skin go away on my big toe. What the hell is wrong with you?!?! (...besides your eyebriars...)

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

I'd say I'm sorry for what I did...but I'd likely do it again...

Soo....perhaps...I'm sorry for not being sorry?

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear You

Dear You,

I can't believe it took nearly 8 years for that to happen...

I thought it would be different...I'm not sure how, exactly... I thought it would be weird... It really wasn't.

Merry Christmas!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Ass

Dear Jackass,

I have zero respect for you at this point.

You are on thin ice.

Tread lightly.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You will always be my "one that got away" I think... We were suppose to meet... You weren't even the "right" funny guy that was suppose to come to my party. I miss you. I miss us hanging out.

I compare everyone to you.

No one measures up.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

What the hell are you doing?

Yes...I'm talking to you.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

You have been "demoted". I find it hard to call you a "man" when you won't "man up" and do what you need to do because you are a coward. You are waiting on someone else to do it for you.

I could very quickly tell her what I know about you and you what I know about her and that would probably take care of it, but it's not my responsibility...and I'm not going to worry about it anymore.

I slipped up a few weeks ago...but I promise I won't do it again.

I'm done.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

Shame on you!

Shame. On. You.

I defended your "honor"... I'm so disappointed...and hurt...

Do what you have to do...but don't make me look like a fucking fool.

Looove,
Kimmie.