P.S.

P.S.

...and your funny stories...and hearing you laugh...really laugh...

P.S.

P.S.

I miss you beside me.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Flashbacks. That is all.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

Your... "fake-ness"... is overwhelming.

Tone it down some.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Llama

Dear Drama Llama,

Please carry your ass elsewhere. I do not feel like listening to you today.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Please think I'm hot...or at least cute...

Yes. I'm grovelling...kinda...

Looove[anyway],
Kimmie.

Dear Primer

Dear Primer,

What the hell is wrong with you??!?! My eyeshadow should not be creasing! Especially not this fast.

I'm terribly disappointed in you...

[A lot less]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Cuz

Dear Cuz,

Teach me new language. It will be fun.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Those aren't the kind of cupcakes I meant... allow me to demonstrate?

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

No. Body. Cares.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I really think I could cure your cranky with cupcakes. I really want to cure your cranky with cupcakes... But I'm going to bite my tongue and not offer... I'm trying to be strong... and I'm afraid of rejection... even thought I don't really think you would reject my cupcakes. (There's that small chance I could be wrong...)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Guys

Dear Guys,

Why are you such hard-headed douches?

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

That was a most interesting dream...and nothing bad even happened!

Well...nothing very bad...

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

It's the little things, like that, that make me smile.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I would kinda just like to hold your hand. That's pretty pitiful...I know...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Cupcakes

Dear Cupcakes,

I really miss you. It's pretty pitiful...I know.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Firefly

Dear Firefly,

Thank you for depressing me.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

We call in our breakfast order for a reason...not just for fun. We do this every week... How hard is it to get it right??

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Women

Dear Women,

Just leave me the fuck alone today, and we'll get along just fine.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

It always makes me feel so much better after I talk to you...even about mundane things.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Daddy

Dear Bank Daddy,

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

The proper phrase is "never saw you"...not "never seen you".

Looove[and proper grammar],
Kimmie.

Dear You

Dear You,

It the beginning, I told you I was not that kind of girl...and said that you weren't my type...

Then I became that kind of girl...and you became my type...

It's been so fun. Doing something I never thought I would...but...if I'm honest, and I think I can be... If I had any idea that it would have come to this... I would have held out...

That disappoints me the most, I think...

Looove,
Me.

Dear Everyone

Dear Everyone,

My boobs are ginormous today.

This has been your Public Service Announcement for today.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S. ...And they are spectacular... :)

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

If you are going to work with us for the next few weeks, you are going to have to get "un-quiet"... We are the least quiet group of women employed by the bank.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I didn't mean to offend you. I thought it was funneh...and I thought you would too...

Sahrry!

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I can't stop day-dreaming about you. This is not good for my...productivity...

P.S.

P.S.

I still make wishes for you, everyday at 2:22.

P.S.

P.S.

I want you.

P.S.

P.S.

Just stop thinking...please...

P.S.

P.S.

If you were to reflect on your lifestyle now, versus your lifestyle then...there would be no mystery...

P.S.

P.S.

You need to take care of your personal business on personal time. No one wants to hear your drama.

P.S.

P.S.

This song will always make me think of you. I wish I had known you then...

P.S.

P.S.

Sometimes, it's just nice to know you wanted me.

P.S.

P.S.

I usually like my space when I sleep, but I miss your chest warm against my back.

P.S.

P.S.

I always sleep more soundly when I pretend you're next to me...

Dear Weirdo

Dear Weirdo,

Really? Why are you still trying to text me after 8 months?! Couldn't I very well be dead??

Oi-fucking-vey...

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I believe we need to test my theory.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Bird

Dear Bird,

I'm terribly sorry that you hit my windshield...but I really don't think I'm at fault... You shouldn't have spazzed out when I drove by...

Sorry...

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I think you are lying...not only to me, but to yourself...and I'm not sure you even realize it...

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I have a pretty overwhelming desire to pull on your ponytail. *giggle*

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

Get over it.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I know it's ridiculous, but I'm just tired of trying.

Dear Guy

Dear Guy,

Fuck you and the games you play.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Today

Dear Today,

Fuck you.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

You are seriously annoying the fuck out of me, today.

P.S.

P.S.

You think too much.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

Shut the hell up already. At some point, you have to realize it is not your problem, nor your business, anymore...and move the fuck on!

Just. Be. Quiet.

PLEASE!

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I feel completely satisfied, but I still want you.

P.S.

P.S.

If you go, I'll miss you terribly... I'll miss you, but I'll support you 100%.

Dear Trainer

Dear Trainer,

Let's get this done with, okay? You don't really have to answer all those questions...because they'll still be asking them a month from now when we go live. Repetition is the only thing that will work for them.

Looove,
The girl with too much personality to be a programmer. :P

Dear Friday

Dear Friday,

Where are youuuu? I've been waiting for your quick return.

Please come soon.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

There's no need for anything complicated just to get some good snuggles in. It is nice to have a body to snuggle up to. Sure... extra pillows work, but they don't have arms to wrap around you.

...and yours are nice.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I'm completely serious about our movie night...or movie week...whatever. I'm ready.

I just want to hang out and cuddle up on the couch and watch movies until we fall asleep. Is that so wrong?

I mean...I'm a lonely girl...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

It's amazing the overwhelming desire I have to kick you in the teeth.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I thought that was you today at lunch...just for a moment. Then common sense took over.

...but I was giddy for a moment...which is pretty ridiculous.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You could be my gyno. Heh! Heh! Heh!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Cop

Dear Cop,

Move your ass!!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Dear Sleep

Dear Sleep,

Why won't you come to me? I realize you're more comfy and enjoyable when I have someone to snuggle up to, but it's not possible right now.... maybe soon-ish.

Please don't make me wait for you.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Dear Ladies

Dear Ladies,

Shut the fuck up already.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

I have been nothing but nice to you. I have loved you since the first time I met you. That doesn't happen much. I've never done anything to cross any lines with you, nor have I ever thought about it.  I miss our fun, crazy, then completely lazy weekends. I miss you being around. I miss the you that I've loved from the beginning.

You are technically a grown man, and you are entitled to any decisions you choose to make. I just want you to be happy. I love you, and I will always be here... Always.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You make me laugh like crazy. I love that.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

I don't like you. No...I don't know you, but I'm certain I don't like you. I won't even go so far as to say that if I ever met you I'd like you...because I wouldn't. Of that I am certain.

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I had a dream about you yesterday while I was napping... It was interesting to say the least... Nothing bad happened, mind you...but the potential was there. Heh!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I'm not sure why you have been so chatty lately, but I kinda like it. :)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

Your moose knuckle is showing. It's not cute.

And...you look kind of like a dinosaur off of Land Before Time...but it's not cute, either.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Site

Dear Site,

Why...are people being linked to Looove, Kimmie from you? I've never posted anything about teeth whitening...what the hell is up with that, yo?

You're weird.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Lady

Dear Boss Lady,

I'm sorry that I'm leaving you in a bind. Really. I am...but I have got to get out of Tensas Parish. Surely you understand this necessity.

I promise, though... This is the lesser of two evils... For now...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Customers

Dear Customers,

It's not cool to put loose change in the drive-thru drawer. It's also not cool to get on your cell phone and start hollering at the person on the other end of that phone call...while you are sitting in my drive-thru.

Shove it  up your ass!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You should really listen to your friends' advice. They are smart!

...unless, of course, they are just dumb and are talking out of their asses, I reckon...

Meh...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Author

Dear Author,

Your writing makes my bits tingle. Many readers complain that your more recent books are nothing more than erotica...You shan't hear me complain! I do like some dirty reading. ;)

Keep 'em comin'! (Pun may or may not have been intended. Haha!)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I'm sitting at my desk. Trying to work.

...but all I can think about is your penis.

Yes. I just said that.

Looove[and delicious cupcakes],
Kimmie.

Dear Dolce

Dear Dolce & Gabbana,

Thank you for making me smell so good. (Even after he spends all week at the bar, I still smell good.)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Store

Dear Store,

Next time I order perfume (or anything breakable, really), could you please put it in a box marked "FRAGILE"? UPS is usually my favorite, but they brought my package in looking like it had been thru a postal stress test or something. I was not impressed.

Work on this, k?

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Yes...I did just totally just sling that out there. :)

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

I'm a tiny bit attracted to you. I've always thought you were cute. You smell really good, too...even though...it's a bit strange that you wear masculine scents...and one of them definitely reminds me of the Marine. He's delicious...

...oh...I got distracted...

Sahrry!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Puss

Dear Puss,

I miss you horribly. I wanted to come visit you today, but your daddy's dumb girlfriend is apparently there. Please don't give all my loving away. I will come see you soon.

Looove[you always],
Mommy.

P.S. Cross your paws! Perhaps soon you can be with me!

Dear Kimmie

Dear Kimmie,

You've written a lot of letters today... You need to spend some of this energy on that other blog. It's sitting there all lonely and unused and what-not.

Hop to it!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

You're pretty gross. I don't know how he does it...and by "it"...I mean, "you".

=/

[Un]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Mister

Dear Mister,

It's not nice to tease. Don't make promises you aren't going to keep.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Why did you wait for a day that I looked like frump to come into the bank?! Ugh!

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Damn! You are still hot! If memory serves, you and your wife are "free"...wanna help me satiate my withdrawals? *wink wink* Rawr!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Customers

Dear Customers,

Really?! Would a bath really hurt you? You smell dreadful...and it's hot...which just makes it worse.

Please do us all a favor and bathe...or don't come in at all.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I'm so glad to see you doing something with your blog, finally! I love seeing your new work!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Monday

Dear Monday,

You pretty much suck, today.

That is all.

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

You are not blame free in this. You are the reason you are having withdrawals right now. As the great saying goes, "You made your bed and now you must sleep in it." ...alone...

P.S.

P.S.

Sometimes, I just have an overwhelming desire to lick you...just to see how you taste.

Dear Week

Dear Week,

Please go by quickly. I need to just be able to make it to Thursday, and I'll be "home free" for a few days.

Please hurry.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

Please don't fret. I'm certain everything will work out for you. It has to. I've got my fingers crossed for you!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Cousin

Dear Cousin,

Don't be a fucking douche. I'm not even sure anybody really likes you.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Kimmie

Dear Kimmie,

Learn to keep your mouth shut. It always gets you in trouble.

[Tough]Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

It's your fault that I've become fond of furry guys. No...I don't mean werewolves. That would be weird.

P.S.

P.S.

Cupcakes, too. Don't act like you haven't thought about them. ;)

Dear Man

Dear Man,

This really sucks. I need to get laid, like whoa.

Luuust,
Kimmie.

Dear McD's

Dear McD'S,

Your sweet tea is supposed to be good. This is shit.

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Contacts

Dear Contacts,

Stop foggin up! That's so weird...

[No]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Little Girl,

You look like you're twelve... and you packing cigarettes in my drive-thru does not impress me. Nor would it if you looked older...just so you know.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Ladies

Dear Ladies,

What the hell is up with you people and having your computer resolutions set so low that I have to scroll for days to see the whole page?! That is so ridiculous!

Just get glasses or something!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Lady

Dear Lady,

Thank you for the delicious musical snacks! They make me kick my feet like a little kid with an ice cream cone. :)

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I am going to miss that dirty mouth of yours...

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I wish I could stop overanalyzing. I wish things would have ended differently.

Part of me wants to talk to you. Part of me says I shouldn't.

I never realized it had gone this far. I have to start being more aware.

Looove[anyway],
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

You were talking fine this morning. Just clear your throat. Stop trying to get pity.

[Tough]Looove,
Kimmie.