Dear Sister

Dear Almost Sister,

Tonight was so much fun! We could get in so much trouble together. We should hang out more often.

Have fun baking cupcakes!

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Sister

Dear Sister,

Your bed is so comfy. I wish it was mine and there was a man in it with me.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

That was a...nice...offer, but I still don't think you like me. Sooo....what gives?

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Man

Dear Man,

You are a dumbass.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

Don't freak out now, but I think a skunk died on your head...

Just thought I should let you know.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Bump-its

Dear Bump-its,

You are scary.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear People

Dear People,

Please just leave me the fuck alone today.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

Thank you. I think...

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I retract my previous statement. If you're still in, I'm still in.

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Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I'm in dire need of a sexercism...can you help me with this?

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

You need to stay in your window and stop running off all the time.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S. You annoy me.

Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

You need to lock your conscience in a box somewhere and throw away the key.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I love you.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You shouldn't think of me like that!!!

...but it's okay if you do. It's how I'm thinking of you. ;)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

I was trying to figure our why you got along with her so well... It's the maturity level, I believe.

What are you both...twelve?

Grow. Up.

Please. Thank you.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Little Girl,

We all aspire to be like someone, but if you choose her... oh boy...

You might want to think that through a little more...

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

The irony of your current relationship amuses me greatly.

Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

I like how you told me that you were still going to be around and we were still going to talk...and I haven't seen you or heard from you since.

You were my favorite...

Looove[still],
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Thinking of you keeps me distracted at work... This is probably not a good thing...

Dear People

Dear People,

Please keep all your dumb drama off of Facebook. It's pretty ridiculous.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

You are so dumb. You are really dumb.

Dear Men

Dear Men,

Please pick up your testicles at the baggage claim.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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P.S.

P.S.

Last night was awesome...even though I am tired as hell.

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Dear You

Dear You,

Whenever you're around, I don't think about all the bullshit. I just have fun. Thank you for that.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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P.S.

P.S.

I don't know what the fuck I did, but I guess I get the point...

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Sometimes... other people can say it better than I can...

I dare you to let me be your one and only.

I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms.

So come on and give me a chance to prove that I'm the one who can walk that mile.

Until the end starts...

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart.

Nobody's perfect. Trust me I've earned it.

*sigh*

Looove,
Kimmie[and Adele].

P.S.

P.S.

I miss that mouth. You give me some of the best...

Dear UPS

Dear UPS,

What's the hold-up?!?! I'm waiting on cute shoes!!! This is important!

[Unsure]Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Someone asked me about you at work the other day and she said I blushed... What does that mean?

Dear Dumbass

Dear Dumbass,

Those blue headlights are SO illegal...

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Store

Dear Shoe Store,

Damn you! I was trying to buy those foxy fuschia pumps! You know how badly I wanted them! How dare you sell the last pair to someone else! You know they aren't near fabulous enough for them!

Hmph!

[No more]Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sister

Dear [Almost]Sister,

You always make me want to cry when you talk to me like a mommy. I know that's insane, right? Still, somehow, it makes me feel better.

I love you, lady. Thank you for being "on my side".

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

You're missing out.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

To each her own and what-not...but you're training is all ovah the place! You need a little organization before you teach someone new.

Just an observation...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Mister

Dear Mister,

Please don't punish me because I lost your charger... I'll get you  a new one!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Girl

Dear Girl,

Your great aunt just came in here and I overheard her telling someone I looked "so much like" you.  She sounded sad. You should visit her.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

Last night was so much fun. We should really do that again.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Cleaners

Dear Cleaners,

What. The. Hell?!?! You never clean properly. You never throw away my cups. You never do anything you are supposed to. So...last night, I left my new big giant water cup on my desk...come back this morning...and it's GONE!

What the hell?!

Consistency. Please!

[No]Looove,
[Cupless]Kimmie.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I haven't seen you since your brother's funeral. I haven't talked to you in months. Yet, somehow, I managed to have quite the interesting dream about you last night. I've never had those thought about you...that I can remember... Unconcious fantasies of a subconcious desire? Who knows.

Now, I'm thinking of you (though, admittedly, not like that)... I do hope you are well.

[Me]Looove[you long time],
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

I make those comments just because I know they will make your mind wander too. Heh.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Let's hang out. You know...just as friends...or whatever.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Nosey

Dear Nosey-Ass-Fuck,

Mind  your own damned business. If I need your assistance, I will ask you. If I have something that needs your attention, I will tell you. Otherwise...stay in your office. Talk on your phone. Terrorize your customers.

Leave me the fuck alone.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Yours is not the only one she's seen. Sahrry!

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Dear Boy

Dear Boy,

Don't get testy because you want me. Haha! Winky face.

Looove,
Kimmie.

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Dear Man

Dear Man,

What I want to do is invite you over...not for intercourse...just to snuggle.

...and maybe intercourse...

...but it's not my house, and I haven't a bed...

Sigh.

Looove[anyway],
Kimmie.

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Dear Bartender

Dear Bartender,

Those drinks were delish! You know how much I love tequila, and that is why you're my favorite bartender.

Well...that....and because you're cute. ;)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

I rather enjoy listening to you talk...even if you do seem to tell the same stories over and over... Your wife, however, was quite fucked up last night... she should not have been driving...

I'm just sayin'...

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

Sometimes, I wish I could unsay some of the things I've told you.

Or...I wish you could just forget them...

Dammit.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Woman

Dear Woman,

What purpose does your presence even serve? Why can't you just stay your loud, obnoxious ass in the truck while your mom takes care of her business.

You're fucking annoying.

Looove,
Kimmie.

P.S.

P.S.

Buying drinks for females does not give you permission to act like that... We didn't ask for them.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

:)

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Ladies

Dear Ladies,

Last night was so much fun! It was so nice to get away and hang out with people I don't always get to.

...even if there were shitty drinks, and douchebags.

Let's do it again, sometime!

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Guy

Dear Guy,

You really are a dreadful bartender...but at least you're cute?

More tequila. Less mix.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Douche

Dear Douche,

You were not funny. She was drunk.

And you were rude.

Pull your head out of your ass before you come to the bar, next time...Just a word of advice.

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Man

Dear Man,

You need to just chill with me and stop running so much. You're going run yourself into the ground...and then what? Then...you'll be in the ground. That's what!

And I'll be sad...and I'll really miss your face, then. :(

Looove,
Kimmie.

Dear Kimmie

Dear Kimmie,

Stop over-analyzing everything. "What will be will be."

Looove,
Kimmie.