Dear Waiter

Dear Waiter,

I must start off by saying, "You do not look like an 'Edmundo'...I dunno...that's just not what I thought your name would be. Maybe something like, 'Sal' or something..."

You always impress me by not writing down our orders. Tonight...there were a bunch of us, so I don't blame you for writing them down this time. I still gave you a hella good tip, yo!

I signed that receipt for $120 and gave you a $25 tip! Only, I wish I had remembered to bring cash...because I totes don't think it's fair when you have to share with slacker waiters.

You're still my homie!

Looove,
Kimmie.